So there I was, standing in line at Harmons in St. George, minding my own business.

I was looking over the deli menu and trying to figure out what family pack of chicken I was going to order, and then eat half of before I got home. 

That’s when my train of thought was interrupted by one simple sentence.

“You Suck Dude.”

My first thought was…”DAD?” But when I spun around to see who said it, all I saw was the back of someone’s head walking away from me.

Now I am not a combative man. I am not very easily provoked. But I found myself in a very strange situation. I was wondering a few different things.

1. Was this a joke?
2. Do I know this person?
3. Why do I suck?

To that third point, I can probably give lots of reasons. I mean, I know EXACTLY why I suck. But I wanted to know why THAT guy thought I sucked.

At this point I probably should have shouted something, but I was so genuinely stunned I had nothing to say.

Besides, I wanted some chicken strips, and I wasn’t about to give up my place in line just to go running around a grocery store asking a stranger why he thinks I'm a piece of crap.

As I drove away, I reached into the bag of food that was supposed to be for my family, and I stress ate several chicken strips and potato wedges. All the while thinking–

“why does that guy think I suck?”

So if you were that guy who came up to me to say something mean, please don’t tell me why you think I suck. Instead, I would like to just tell myself what my mother told me to think in situations like this.

"You are clearly just jealous because I am a handsome special boy, and the fact that I smell like onions is purely a hormone disorder that I have no control over.”

Anyway, thanks for the feedback. Next time just be a little more descriptive.

Or don’t.

XOXO, Mikey