Staheli Family Farm Opens For The Season

If you've lived in Southern Utah for more than a year, you know that it's not Fall until you've gone to Staheli Family Farm in Washington. It's a Southern Utah tradition dating back to its founding in 1889.

Now it is possible that you are not familiar with Staheli Farm. Maybe you're new to Southern Utah. Or you were raised in a bomb shelter on an Amish commune under a rock.

But whatever the case, I'll clue you in on what you can expect on the farm!

The Food

Every year Mikey & The Mrs go to the farm for the food and stay for the other stuff

The food is fantastic. Get some loaded tater tots, or ice cream, pumpkin pie or any of the other tasty treats. If you're looking to eat something more healthy, then I guess you can go take a stroll to...

The Corn Maze

This year's corn maze map. You might want to keep it for reference for when you get lost and begin to sob like a little girl.

This is one of the biggest attractions at the farm.

You should never marry someone until:

1) You've seen them put together IKEA furniture, or

2) You've seen what they do when lost in the corn maze.

My wife Bonnie, 20 minutes after I got us totally lost in the corn maze because I told her I knew what I was doing.

Stuff gets real in there. Here's an actual photo of Bonnie, my wife, 20 minutes after I told her to "trust me" because I quote "knew what I was doing". SPOILER: I did not.

FIELD OF SCREAMS

This guy will scare the crap out of you and make you call out for your mommy the coward you are.

The Field Of Screams is the largest haunted attraction in Southern Utah. Be prepared to encounter animatronic monsters, psychotic clowns, rotting corpses and assorted ghouls and freaks ready to rip your head off. It's Fun!!! Get tickets HERE.

But if wetting your pants with fear isn't your thing, you can always hang out with these lovely ladies...

The Witches

Witches be crazy amaright?

The Staheli Family Farm Witches led by Miss Candy Cornelia(in orange) will bring a smile to your face as they roam the farm performing for you and your family. BTW, they really want you to know that NONE of the Witches at the farm have an appetite for children. C'mon guys. Those are just in movies.

The Animals

"See? If you're naughty, the Witches will turn you into a goat!" Said the mother to her terrified child

Everybody loves Animals, and the farm has a lot of them. Goats, chickens, pigs, horses, Emus and more! Each of them guaranteed to smell better than most 8th graders.

The Attractions

The giant jumping bag delights kids and keeps them occupied while parents eat pie.

The farm boasts an impressive number of attractions such as the jumping bag, slides, swings, carnival-style games, hayrides and more.

The Pumpkin Patch

Choose a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch and your kids will finally love you.

Sure, you could go to the grocery store and just buy a pumpkin but where's the fun in that?! It's way better to walk around and find the perfect gourd to carve into and impress that one neighbor WHO THINKS SHE'S SOOOOOO GREAT.