Hilarious Ideas To Save Snow In Utah’s Rising Heat

Utah’s Emergency Snow Preservation Plan (Because Apparently Winter Is Optional Now)

Utah finally gets a gorgeous blanket of snow — the kind that makes the mountains look like they’re auditioning for a Hallmark movie — and suddenly the weather decides to go full blow‑dryer. Warm temps are rolling in like, “Cute snow you had there. It’d be a shame if… something happened to it.”

But I don't think Utah should go down without a fight. We need to preserve the snow by any means necessary, even if those means are stupidly impractical and scientifically unreasonable.

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Here are the ridiculous, absolutely Utah ways we could rally to keep each precious frozen flake.

Statewide Everyone Turn Down Your Thermostat to 45° and Leave Your Doors Open

Sure, your house will feel like a pioneer cabin in January, but think of the snow. Also, think of the bragging rights when you tell your neighbors, “We haven’t felt our toes in days, how much do you care?”

 We Could Form a Human Chain to Block the Sun

Tens of thousands of residents stand shoulder‑to‑shoulder, arms raised, trying to cast a shadow over the mountains. It probably won't work, but it might get Washington to think we know the answer and call on us....

Read More: Iron County Hit By Quick Moving Snow Squall

or maybe someone will think we are secretly dominating in some overlooked sport.

 Open Lagoon Early and Run the Rides at Double Speed

Just crank Cannibal to max speed and hope the wind chill does something.

Have Utah County Moms Deploy 400,000 Stanley Cups Filled With Ice

They could scatter these super mugs across the mountains like reflective snow‑preserving landmines. The snow is saved and influencers get more likes.

Utah State Legislature Could Pass a Bill Declaring Heat Illegal

Punishable by fines, community service, or being forced to sit through a 6‑hour presentation on water rights if the weather does not comply.

Ski Resorts Could Arm Resort Visitors with Hand Fans

They are on the slopes anyway, just have them fan the runs as they take a break, a lift or even a spill. Never underestimate the dedication of a snow bunny whose sweet resorts are in danger of becoming green before their time.