MIKEY: Do I Have To Like Rodeos To Stay In Utah?
I have lived in Utah for over 20 years, but I have a confession to make.
I understand it's very popular here in St. George. People come from all over to watch cowboys ride horses and throw ropes at stuff. It sounds interesting, but then again, I'm afraid of not fitting in.
I'm originally from Detroit, and in Michigan, we didn't have cowboys. In fact, until I moved to Utah, I genuinely didn't think cowboys were real.
Yes I saw them on TV, but it was usually in a historical context. Outside a movie about the old west, the only people I saw wearing cowboy hats were country singers, and everybody knows that's just a costume.
When I moved to Las Vegas as a teenager, I was performing in theaters, and every now and then I would see a big group of cowboy hats and giant belt buckles walking through the casino.
To be honest, I genuinely thought they were all pimps.
Then I moved to Utah, and not only did I realize that cowboys are real, but the cowboy ACCENT I saw on TV is real as well!
"Howdy ma'am" is not something I thought actual living human beings said to each other in real life.
So we bring ourselves to today. I have never been to a rodeo, and honestly I'm a little afraid to go.
I don't like watching animals get hurt.
Do I like eating animals? Of course I do. But the process from which an animal is born, raised, and then one day makes it into my McDonald's wrapper, is a process that I really really really don't want to know more about. This detached sense of reality is probably why I'm always cheering for the animals.
For example, when I see an elephant in the circus go on a rampage and trample over a bunch of circus workers, I am 100% TEAM ELEPHANT. "Good for him." I think to myself. "Do what you gotta do to take down the man, Dumbo."
Similarly, when I see video of a bull bucking someone off of them, I'm 100% TEAM BULL. "That's what you get for putting a belt around someone's naughty bits!!" The same goes for bullfighters. Screw those guys.
I realize this is probably the wrong attitude to have when trying to appreciate a sport I don't fully understand yet. But is it okay to cheer when a rodeo clown gets trampled? If not, then maybe Rodeo isn't for me.
Then again, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's time I expanded my horizons. Maybe this is the year I finally go to a rodeo, and fully appreciate the sport from an unbias point of view. Whos coming with me?
Oh, and Honest question.
Does this totally real and not doctored photo of me look like I'd fit in at the St. George Rodeo?
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