Southern Utah Men’s Guide to Dating in 2023
Cuffing Season is coming.
In any place you go, October (when it gets a bit chilly out), is the universal signal for singles that the season of “situationships” begins.
Though cuffing usually refers to many different styles of relationships, one thing is certain, it’s always during the holidays and that adds to the most stressful (wonderful?) time of the year. So why do people even add on to that with uncertainty of finances and family-get-togethers already present?
Today interviewed Saba Harouni Lurie, a licensed marriage and family therapist who is also the founder of Take Root Therapy.
“We’re less prone to go outside or engage in activities that would typically produce feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin during the colder months,” Lurie said. “Because of that, it’s not unusual for folks to seek out more physical touch from their partners or to consciously or subconsciously seek partners to make up for that deficit.”
Since cuffing season is indeed coming, let's go over proper date etiquette and expectations.
- Men and women are of equal standing now so, there is no need for a man to expect to pay for the first date. It is TOTALLY fine if you split it. In fact, it's just polite for the women to offer to pay for her portion.
- No gifts until after the third date. One, this creates weird expectations, especially if this is from Tinder, Facebook Dating, or Bumble. The thought is nice, but it makes it weird. Two, it can definitely feel like you’re trying to buy your date. Red Flag.
- DO. NOT. TEXT. THEM. WITH. CUTE. NICKNAMES. This also applies to dating apps/websites. A ‘hey, baby’ comes off as sleezy not charming. You don’t even know this man from Adam so why is he calling you baby? Be casual, you can see where it goes from there.
- Always do the first few dates in public (unless the other person has explicitly said they would like to Netflix and chill). You can never be too careful and going over to someone's house you don’t know is just...weird. It gives off Ted Bundy vibes.
- Don’t expect them to send 20,000 selfies a day if you have moved from the dating app to Snapchat. People are busy, have lives, and may not have time for that. It's good to know you’re a real person but it can be exhausting trying to look cute all the time.
- Speaking of Snapchat, if you have JUST started talking don’t ask for a Snapchat or phone number. It's kind of personal and if you’ve simply said ‘hey’ and then immediately go to Snapchat...that is a RED FLAG.
- Find a date that involves talking. Movies are not going to accomplish getting to know the other person. Mini golf, dinner, coffee/boba tea dates are great ideas.
- Don’t try to meet immediately. Talk first via phone call or text and try to gauge what common interests you have. It will take some of that first-date awkwardness away.
- Lastly, ask them REAL questions, especially if you are looking to be close friends or get into a serious relationship. What do they care about? Why do they think it's important? How would they describe themselves? Are they introverted, extroverted or a mix? These allow you to actually talk beyond ‘what do you do in your spare time?’
Hope this was helpful but if I have missed anything message me on FB. I would love to hear from you!