SATIRE POST. READ, ENJOY AND SEND TO FRIENDS.

Utah Tech University, formerly Dixie State University, and Dixie College made a major announcement today: The University will be changing their name to Brigham Young University - Dixie Campus.

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This comes 9 months after major backlash from the community following the name change from "Dixie" to "Utah Tech."

The change will take place immediately and signs have already been changed out.

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"I think it's great! After dumping millions of dollars into the 'Utah Tech' name, and so much outrage... I think we've finally found something everyone in town will be happy about!" says University President, Steven Donald.

This will, no doubt, create a bigger Rivalry for BYU & University of Utah. "BYU has 4 locations now, and Utah only has 1. Suck it, Utah!" Says Donald.

Effective Immediately is the BYU Honor-Code and Dress-Code, which states all men must be clean shaven, and women must have entire body covered (Faces can be uncovered on casual Fridays.)

Student, Emily Smith says "I've been doing a lot of partying this semester. I'm glad to now have an honor-code to follow, so I can focus on my studies. That will be the best kick in the pleated pants!"

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Another big announcement is the Brigham Young Winter Home. By Fall Semester 2023, it will be transformed into the new Sigma Hyrum Nephi Fraternity House! "It's real exciting! Me and the boys have always wanted to party in this house, and now we get to live there! NICE!" says Frat President, Ammon Foley.

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If you'd like to enroll at Brigham Young University - Dixie Campus... You're out of luck! This story is SATIRE. But, tag your friends and family who will be LIVID and those that will be SO EXCITED. Hope you had a laugh and enjoyed!

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BEST DEAL IN TOWN: Half Price Gift Cards To AMAZING Southern Utah Restaurants!

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Christmas is right around the corner! Have you bought all your Christmas presents yet?! If you're like me, you've already spent WAY too much money! But if you're looking for the BEST deal in town, I've got it for you right here! We have a handful of gift cards that are $50% off and they're up for grabs!

The Restaurants that are available at 50% off:

  • Tia's Restaurant ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!
  • Nom Nom Cookies ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!
  • Soul Ramen ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!
  • Dub's BBQ ($25 gift card for only $12.50!) BUY HERE!
  • Mountain Mike's Pizza ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!
  • The Warehouse Bar & Kitchen ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!
  • BigShots Golf Kitchen ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!
  • Papa's Got Jerk ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!
  • Xetava Bar & Kitchen ($50 gift card for only $25!) BUY HERE!

ALL of these gift cards are 50% off, and they expire 90 days from when you purchase them. They're totally on the up & up, and backed up by Townsquare Media and the Restaurants themselves. These won't last forever and they're first come first served.

The entire list can be found HERE!

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GIFT TIME: St. George's HIGH RATED Restaurants For Gift Cards

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Christmas is RIGHT around the corner! There's always those people that are incredibly hard to shop for, but you can NEVER go wrong with a gift card!

Here are some of the HIGHEST RATED restaurants in St. George for Gift Cards!

1. La Cocina Mexican Street Food. 744 N Bluff Street.

4.7 Stars and 859 Reviews

Michelle Brown said "Best Mexican food in St. George! Street tacos and mulas are the best! The salads are also excellent, not on the menu but fantastic."

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2. Pepe's Tacos. 757 N Bluff Street.

4.7 Stars and 179 Reviews.

Scott Godown said "Pepe's Tacos is incredible!!! Best carne asada I've had in Utah!... We'll be back again and again and again."

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3. Tia's Restaurant 1812 W Sunset Blvd.

4.8 Stars and 442 Reviews.

Jacqueline said "Wow! Such a cute place with great food. My family had the Nutella waffles, bean soup, nachos, vegan tacos, and pupusas. 10/10 experience.

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4. Island Grinds 1973 W Sunset Blvd.

4.7 Stars and 683 Reviews.

Parker Davis said "If you think Honolulu (Grill) or Mo Betta's is good, then prepare to never eat at either place again!!! Island Grinds wins it by far! ...Home cooked flavor, big portions, awesome price."

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5. Roxberry Juice Co. 3542 Pioneer Pkwy Suite 101, Santa Clara.

4.8 Stars and 646 Reviews.

Alisa Hafen said "This place was so delicious! The service was quick, place was super clean and the employees were friendly. ...Probably my favorite smoothies in St. George!smoothie ostrich GIF

Big Lud's BBQ 185 N Bluff Street. A food trailer next to Kneaders on Bluff.

4.9 Stars and 211 Reviews

Glen Cummins said "Hands down the best BBQ spot not only in town but west of Texas & Tennessee."

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If you're looking for some fo the TOP RATED restaurants in Cedar City or Hurricane, you can find those at CatCountryUtah.Com

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Christmas is RIGHT around the corner! There's always those people that are incredibly hard to shop for, but you can NEVER go wrong with a gift card!

Here are some of the HIGHEST RATED restaurants in Cedar City for Gift Cards!

1. Park Place Eatery. 23 W Center Street.

4.6 Stars and 456 Reviews.

Justin Wright said "To die for crepes. The best in the state of Utah all homemade and freshest fruit sliced as you order. Homemade whip cream. Oh my gosh the best I have ever had. Go try it out."

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2. Teriyaki Grill. 102 N Main Street In Cedar Towne Center

4.2 Stars and 185 Reviews.

Crystal Bilyeu said "The Best Food, friendly staff and you get so much food!"

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3. Brick House Cafe. 86 S Main Street.

4.3 Stars and 764 Reviews.

Kelsey Ballstaedt said "BEST SANDWICHES. I have never been disappointed when I have come here, it's a must-stop every roadtrip."

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4. Bunnisa's Thai Cuisine. 5 N Main Street.

4.3 Stars and 453 Reviews.

Cristina Clerico said "Best Thai in town. Very friendly service. The deep fried banana with coconut ice cream (has pistachios) is delicious!

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5. Pork Belly's Eatery and Catering. 565 S Main Street In Stone Gate Shopping Center.

4.5 Stars and 903 Reviews.

Jake Jensen said "Best Burrito I've ever had! It was incredible! My waitress was great! Great food and service! I'll be back again one day!"

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Christmas Time: Hurricane, Utah's HIGH RATED Restaurants For Gift Cards

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Christmas is RIGHT around the corner! There's always those people that are incredibly hard to shop for, but you can NEVER go wrong with a gift card!

Here are some of the HIGHEST RATED restaurants in Cedar City for Gift Cards!

1. Main Street Cafe. 138 Main Street

4.8 Stars and 1.8k Reviews.

Jan Berenda said "Best and biggest burger you ever had!! Local meal, grilled on the garden, friendly staff... I recommend."

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2. Pig's Ear American Bistro. 75 2000 W.

4.5 Stars and 523 Reviews.

Kathleen Kiyabu said "Amazing food! Ribs are the best I have had. Portabella mushroom fries are delicious and the key lime pie is soo yummy! Service is great and staff are all nice and friendly. A lucky find!"

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3. The Pizza Wagon. 711 W State Street.

4.8 Stars and 491 Reviews.

Kevin K said "Had pizza all around the world. This was the best one. Good balance of flavours and good size. Bottom not burned. This was excellent!"

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4. Cross Country Diner. 112 W State Street.

4.8 Stars and 316 Reviews.

Angel Lyn said "Finally stopped to taste the food at THE CUTEST diner in hurricane and... OH! MY! WORD! YUM! The unique fry sauce is THE BEST I've ever had!!!!!"

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5. Triple TJ's Cafe. 1141 State Street In Grand Circle Plaza.

4.5 Stars and 557 Reviews.

Woltra1 said "I still remember the first time here, we were starving, and we got burgers. At the time I felt like I was eating the BEST burger of my life. Fluke? Was it because we were starving? I don't know so we tried it again. We enjoyed our 2nd round of burgers just as much! OK! Sold!"

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Southern Utah BUMPER STICKERS That Some Of Ya'll NEED!

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A bumper sticker is a wonderful way to show that you're funny, annoying, or a cringy parent. I don't suggest ever putting a political bumper sticker in your car, unless you love being a target for some car vandalism.

Here are some PERFECT Bumper Stickers for anyone living in Southern Utah!

Dixie Rock:

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 This is perfect for you if you're from St. George, and you love history. Also, if you NEVER want to see anything change in the city.

The Mom of 8:

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 Do you ever see these stickers on someone's car, and there's like 12 kids? My first thought is: "OH MY! GET OFF OF HER!" But this one is perfect for you if you hate tailgaters, and you're also always pregnant.

We've All Been There:

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 Come on... If you've lived in Southern Utah, you've experienced this! EVERYBODY MOVE! I'm white-knuckling it on I-15 after that Sweet Pork Burrito!

That Judgy Neighbor:

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 Everyone in town has that one (or twelve) judge neighbors that stare at you sidewise when they see you bringing groceries into the house on Sunday. Buy this one for her!

Very On-Brand For Utah:

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 Have you ever been flipped off by someone that looks like your Great Grandma? It's totally shocking. How about being flipped off by the Bishop's wife?!

No Changes:

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 You came to St. George because you loved it here... but you're also wanting to change it to the place you left. That doesn't make much sense, does it?

Kate's Banana Bread:

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 If you've been in St. George for a bit, you've probably heard of Kate's Banana Bread. She's a local girl that started selling Banana Bread off the side of the road and now she's selling out every week! Her banana bread SLAPS! 

Proceed With Caution:

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 I'm just saying... this would be a nice little warning. You never know when a sudden U-Turn is going to happen!

CTR-Lane:

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 Let's remember this guys... The left lane is for PASSING, not for traveling. CHOOSE THE RIGHT LANE and we'll all be okay!

Love Doesn't Exist:

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 This summer, all of Southern Utah believed in love when Marci was searching for a Superman-looking bald man named Josh. After 3 weeks of searching we found Josh... and HE WAS HAPPILY MARRIED! UGH! Love doesn't exist, does it?!

The Most Annoying Person on I-15:

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 EVERYONE has seen this before. It doesn't matter what lane they're in, if you try to pass them, they'll speed up and not allow it. If you're going 65, they're going 65. If you're going 90, they're going 90. I don't understand this game!

Interchangable Last Name:

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If you have a certain last name in Southern Utah, you are exempt from certain laws. We're using the last name "ENCE" as an example here. This also applies to Larsen's, Nielson's, Staheli's, Leavitt's and Gublers!

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New St. George Restaurant SHUTS DOWN... Big Things Coming In It's Place!

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The Brainchild of Farmstead Bakery, 'Kairos' has closed it's doors. Kairos only survived in St. George for just over a year. They were located on Tabernacle next to Judd's Store and across the street from the St. George Tabernacle. They were a Mediterranean restaurant that had all kinds of salads, bowls, and pita. The closure was announced by their owner, Chris Connors via Instagram.

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However, they will be revamping the building and changing the concept of the restaurant. The new restaurant coming in it's place is a Farmstead Style coffee shop. They'll be serving breakfast sandwiches, biscuits, lunch, salads, and more. If you're bummed about Kairos closing, they will still be serving Mediterranean-inspired salads. This new concept restaurant will be treated like a "Test Kitchen" for Farmstead Bakery. 

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This new restaurant, whose name hasn't been released yet, will be opening in first quarter of 2024.

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St. George Restaurants That Are WORTH THE WAIT!

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Imagine this... You're out with the family, and you stop in at a restaurant. You walk in, it's packed. The girl at the front tells you the wait is AN HOUR! Do you move on to another place? Do you sit and wait that hour before you can be seated?

Here is a list of St. George restaurants that are TOTALLY worth the wait! 

Silver Reef Brewery:

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It's the BEST KEPT SECRET in Southern Utah! Hands down, the best restaurant in town. I've had 95% of the entire menu, and EVERYTHING I've had is incredible. The restaurant is right in the middle of an actual brewery, so there's not TONS of room to sit, which could bring a longer wait time. But I'm telling you... This place is 100000% worth the wait! They have everything from salads, to an amazing club sandwich, to steaks, burgers, fish, and chicken. It's absolutely incredible.

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Sakura:

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I'm not sure I've ever been to Sakura and there HASN'T been a wait... and for good reason! Sakura is dinner and a show every night. The food is KILLER, and 100% worth the wait. Sometimes the wait can reach up to a few hours too, so think ahead and try to get your spot reserved EARLY! The hibachi steak, rice, soup, EVERYTHING is so great.

Bishop's:

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You could be surprised to see Bishop's on this list, but it absolutely deserves to be there. Bishop's now has two locations (Washington & Off Sunset BLVD), and it's one of my favorite breakfast stops in town. Make sure you try the Scones, okay? You can thank me later!

First Watch:

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First Watch is a hot brunch spot in St. George. They're off north Bluff Street by the Sunset Megaplex. There's usually always a wait there, but it's really worth it. I've only ever gotten their breakfast before, but when you find something amazing, you should stick with it. They've got great Seasoned Potatoes, toast and jam, eggs, sandwiches, everything. First Watch is absolutely worth the wait.

Red Fort:

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Another place that usually has a wait is Red Fort. Red Fort is an Indian Restaurant, and if you've never had Indian Food, Red Fort is the place to try. I'll be honest, I was a little nervous my first time trying it, but I was BLOWN AWAY! This place's wait is usually pretty quick, and the food is always worth it!

Rib & Chop House:

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Rib & Chop House, located by the Dixie Convention Center is a nice place for a date. It feels a little nicer than most places. I was fully expecting this place to be incredibly expensive, but it wasn't! It was totally affordable, and the food was REALLY GOOD!

Cliffside:

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Cliffside Restaurant, located up high by the old airport is a place EVERYONE needs to try. The food is really good, but it has the BEST VIEW in the entire area! They've won tons of local awards, state awards, even national awards! Head up the hill and try Cliffside. You will love the experience.

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Southern Utah Businesses That NEED Another Location NOW!

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Southern Utah is GROWING! Especially areas like St. George, Ivins, Santa Clara, Washington, and Hurricane. We have a lot of awesome businesses in the area, but I think it's time we get some 2nd locations, 3rd locations, or even more!

Here are the TOP BUSINESSES in Southern Utah that need to open another location NOW!

Costco:

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It's time! Word on the street is that Costco already has a piece of land eyeballed for their second location. However, that location would be in St. George on the south side of town. We've heard rumors that Costco would need something like another 50,000 members before the new Costco would be built. That means everyone needs to stop sharing cards, and buy their own and we'll have a 2nd location! Sorry, Cedar City... It would still be in St. George.

Croshaw's Pies:

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Croshaw's Pies is open all year long, but this time of year is FOR SURE their busiest. It's mid November, and I'm pretty sure they're totally booked out with their pies for the entire rest of the year! I knew somebody that tried to stop in last week, and it was lined out the store! Let's get another Croshaw's Pies in town.

Angelica's Mexican Grill:

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I've been pushing for this for a while now! The owners, Jack & Angelica, are having HUGE SUCCESS with the original location, on St. George Boulevard. I say they're having TOO MUCH success, though. It's always busy, there parking lot is always full, and there's always a line! Throw a 2nd location in Washington. That should help cut down on how busy the Boulevard location is!

Durango's:

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Durango's has been sitting at the SAME LOCATION since their inception in what? 2003? They've opened a few more locations over the years (Hurricane, Draper), and both have failed. But, Durango's is a St. George staple! They DESPERATELY need a 2nd location somewhere. Cedar City, Washington, Ivins, ANYWHERE!

In-N-Out Burger:

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In-N-Out could absolutely succeed with another Southern Utah location! Cedar City has been asking for one. But ANYWHERE in Southern Utah could work! The line at In-N-Out is always so big, even at midnight! I've always said a 2nd In-N-Out would be PERFECT at that old bank in the K-Mart parking lot!

Red Fort:

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Red Fort is one of our BEST restaurants in St. George. It's Indian food, and ranked one of the BEST Indian Restaurants in the entire country! Have you ever gone to Red Fort though? It's constantly packed, and there's always a 30-45 minute wait for a table! Plus, they're location is garbage! Imagine if Red Fort's 2nd location was somewhere that people would ACTUALLY SEE on a daily basis? It could be HUGE!

Did I miss any? Who would you LOVE to see have another location here in Southern Utah? It can be a restaurant, or just a business. I'm looking forward to what everyone else would like to see more of.

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Three AMAZING Soups In Southern Utah That Will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

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One of the BEST parts of autumn is absolutely SOUP SEASON! I am an absolute Soup Fiend! I can sniff out a good soup nearly everywhere! 

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Here is my list of some of the best places to get soup in Southern Utah!

DURANGO'S:

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You're probably shocked to see that Durango's is on my list, much less... AT THE TOP OF MY LIST! But Durango's has a Chicken Tortilla Soup that is KILLER! It is hands down, my favorite soup in the area. The broth is amazing, it has shredded chicken in it, cheese, pico (if you want it) and they give you tortilla chip strips that you can put in it. It is INCREDIBLE.

PANDA GARDEN:

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Panda Garden, the best Chinese restaurant in town has my ALMOST FAVORITE soup in town, and that is the Egg Drop Soup (Some call it egg flower soup). It's delicious, and they give you these fried things that I call "Crunchies" that you drop into the soup. The more than I'm talking about it, the more that I believe it's my FAVORITE SOUP... This is hard!

ZUPAS:

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Zupas is another local Utah company, and they've got LOTS of different soups. However, their Wisconsin Cauliflower soup is SO GOOD! It doesn't sound good. Cauliflower soup? No. BUT it actually is so good, and doesn't even taste like gnarly cauliflower. I add cheddar and bacon to mine, and I can never get enough!

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The 10 ABSOLUTE WORST Things About Living In St. George, Utah!

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I've been in St. George my WHOLE LIFE! Born and raised, baby! I love it here, but in my 32 years here, I can see the bad things about living here too. I've compiled an entire list, and if you're one that gets offended... BUCKLE UP!

1. Old-Timey Drivers:

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Lots of drivers over the age of 80 driving around. They like to drive very slow and safe, which is fantastic! Also, the blinker either stays on for at least 30 seconds, or no more than 1 second. There is NO in between!

2. Round-A-Bouts:

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I understand they're difficult to grasp, but it is a CIRCLE-OF-DEATH around these parts! People will drift into on-coming traffic, no yielding, too much yielding, or just straight up going THE WRONG WAY!

3. Old-Timey Drivers IN Round-A-Bouts:

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This is like when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force. NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS HERE! This is where things get REALLY interesting! Once, I about went HEAD-ON with an old gal (About 85) going the wrong direction, with her mouth wide open. She was DEFINITELY screaming!

4. Seat Belt Brands:

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If you're here in the summer, you've got to be careful out here! Those seat belts will straight up BRAND YOU if you're not careful. The inside of the car reaches AT LEAST 150 degrees, and that metal gets SO HOT!

5. Sunday Restaurant Hours:

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Drive down Bluff Street on a Sunday around 6 p.m... It is a GHOST TOWN! If you want to find somewhere to eat, GOOD LUCK! It's going to be tough. Fast Food will be open, but anywhere else? That's going to be a tough one!

6. Lack Of Water Park:

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COME ON GUYS! Let's do a water park! The St. George City Pool Hydro-Tube is dope, but it's humiliating when a 14 year old kid blows his whistle at me while doing chicken fights with the boys!

7. No Cheesecake Factory within 100 miles:

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This is some B.S.! I need a Cheesecake Factory! It's worth getting fat for.

8. May - October:

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It's just miserable. It's SO HOT! The temp hits 95 degrees and you think "WOW... It can't get hotter!", and suddenly it's 115 and we have boob sweat everywhere we go. But then someone from Florida shows up and says "At least it's a dry heat!"

9. THE SCORPIONS:

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If you're lucky enough to live somewhere that DOESN'T get the Scorp-o's... COUNT. YOUR. BLESSINGS! I've been stung 3 times, and it sucks SO BAD! You're numb for days!

10. The people that comment on this telling me "If you don't like it here, leave.":

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LOL... Just laugh at my stories. Stop taking me so seriously. It's going to be okay!

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